Everything I Want (And Nothing I Need)
by WishingWellDreams
Summary: HW and BC do not exist. Trubel really killed Juliette at the end of season 4. Nick and Adalind learn to live and love with and for each other.
A/N: So I love Nadalind, but not so much what they're doing with them this season (although there have been some awesome high points). I think that one of the issues is that there is so much other stuff going on that there isn't enough time on the show to explore Nadalind as deeply and adequately as it should be. So here is my take on an AU of season 5, focused pretty much solely on Nadalind. HW and BC do not exist in this AU, which means Trubel really killed Juliette, which means no Eve. I may mention some other wesen and cases from the season that were not tied to HW or BC, but they will probably be background to Nadalind. Any mistakes are my own. I will probably also post this on my AO3 page, same pen-name. Enjoy! More hopefully coming soon.

* * *

Nick stared down in shock as Juliette took her last breaths in his arms.

"No…" He choked out a sob, suddenly barraged by a wave of all the emotions he had been holding back and more, as the tears began to stream freely.

He knew that it had been coming to this. He knew that the path that Juliette had chosen to go down would lead to one of both of their deaths. He had even given the order to the others to kill her if they got the chance.

But he never expected it to feel like this. He never expected that he would be unable to do the deed himself, that she would still have some kind of hold over him after everything that she did to them.

"Nick…" Trubel's voice seemed was steady, but he knew her well enough to detect the heavy tone behind her words. "I'm sorry"

Nick looked up and so that there were mixed emotions on her face. This had to have been hard for her too. He lay the body down and tried to put on a brave face.

"It's okay," He wiped the tears that had already fallen and willed himself not to produce anymore.

"I came over here to see if you were okay and I saw her and…and she was going to kill you!" Trubel seemed to be reassuring herself as much as she was Nick.

"I know, Trubel" He stood up and looked at the scene, suddenly in detective mode. "I have to call this in."

Trubel looked up at him sharply; fear evident in her eyes, and Nick hurried to reassure her.

"I'm not turning you in, obviously, but… I have to explain her death. Go back to bud's, take the crossbow, and then I'll call the station and report it. Say that I just got home and the door was wide open, I found her like this…" Nick's eyes were drawn back to Juliette's limp body and he had to blink to hold back fresh tears.

"What about prints?" Trubel asked worriedly.

"You haven't touched the body, only I have, and that's understandable. I found her and I was in shock," Nick was repeating the official story to himself both in his head and out loud ensuring that he wouldn't mess up later, "And if your prints are anywhere else, well that's perfectly understandable, because you've been staying with us."

"Okay," Trubel nodded and headed towards the door before turning back, "Are you sure it's okay Nick?"

Nick sighed deeply; still staring down at the corpse of the person he had once considered the love of his life. "It will be."

He didn't know whether or not he believed himself.

* * *

It was weird to have his home swarming with officers, his colleagues, as they surveyed the scene and collected Juliette's body to take it down to the morgue.

Hank wasn't able to work the case due to his closeness to both Nick and Juliette, but he had come to the scene as soon as he heard, and so had Wu. Currently they were standing with Nick as they watching the circus of detectives and lab techs do something that they had done hundreds of times before. It felt starkly different.

Hank leaned over to him and asked in an almost unintelligible whisper, "Did you…?"

Nick shook his head very slightly, "Trubel," he whispered back just as quietly.

Hank seemed to accept this, but still shot Nick a sympathetic look.

"I'm going to go to Monroe and Rosalee's," Wu said in a quiet voice, "You're probably still going to have to stay here to answer some questions, but I think that this is something that they need to hear about in person."

Nick knew that Rosalee especially would take the news hard, even though both his friends also both knew that this was the only outcome on the other side of the decisions that Juliette had made.

"I'll go with you," Hank stated, "Do you want us to go to Bud's too? Let him and Adalind know? And check on Trubel."

In the midst of all the craziness, Nick had completely forgotten about Adalind. He had no idea how, now that he had remembered, it seemed impossible that the fact that his former enemy was pregnant with his child and sleeping in Bud's guest room had slipped his mind.

His former girlfriend had just died. His former enemy would probably be giving birth to his son pretty soon.

Nick was experiencing what he could only describe as a clusterfuck of emotions.

"Uh… no, no. I'll go there when I'm done here." That was a situation that was going to be awkward enough already for him to deal with on his own.

"Okay buddy, we'll see you soon."

His two friends left the scene, and then Nick was alone again, watching Juliette be placed in a body bag almost as if it were a dream, or a scene from somebody else's life.

He didn't know how much time passed, how long he spent staring blankly at the events that were unfolding in front of him, until he was being tapped lightly on the shoulder.

He turned around to see Detective Pogue looking at him with a sufficiently sympathetic expression.

"Hey Nick, you feeling okay to answer some questions?"

"Yeah," Nick tried to keep his voice as steady as possible, "ask away."

"Standard procedure, so you probably know the gist of it, but can you walk me through how you found her?"

Nick recited the narrative that he had been rehearsing in his mind since Trubel left, hoping that whatever emotion he was currently displaying didn't raise any suspicions.

Pogue seemed to buy what Nick was selling, nodding at some points, jotting down notes and occasionally interjecting Nick's speech to ask clarifying questions. Eventually, he put his pen down and looked at Nick.

"I don't quite know how to ask this," Pogue paused, as if considering how he should proceed, before saying, "I just assumed that you guys weren't together anymore. I mean… after what happened down at the station."

Of course, Juliette's little display with Adalind at the station would still be in the minds of his fellow officers. It wasn't everyday that one of their own got embroiled in such public drama, and Nick had found himself fighting off rumors and stares for days afterwards, so it wasn't surprising that Pogue was asking about it now.

"We weren't together anymore," he bit out, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice, "She was here to get all of her stuff. That's why I was out; she didn't want to see me when she came over. But then when I got back…"

Pogue nodded and jotted down some more things, seeming to accept his explanation, and Nick mentally patted himself on the back for thinking on his feet.

"Okay, I think we're done here for now. Thanks so much Nick and… I'm sorry."

Nick nodded in acknowledgment of Pogue's pleasantry and then watched as his colleague walked back over to one of the crime lab technicians.

Nick went back to watching the rest of the circus.

* * *

It was an ungodly hour by the time the crime scene was finally cleaned up, and Nick had considered waiting until the morning to head over to Bud's but he felt wired, and he couldn't stay in his house, not tonight, not after everything that had just happened, not when everything there still reminded him of her.

When he knocked on Bud's door, Trubel answered almost immediately, and he could tell by the weary look on her face that she hadn't slept yet.

"Hey," He said, walking past her into the house.

"Hey. Everything go okay?"

"Yeah it was okay. Well… as okay as it could have been."

"I'm sorry Nick… I really am… but I had to."

Nick sighed. "You don't have to apologize Trubel, I know," He could tell that now that the shock had subsided, the girl felt a little guilty for how things had gone down, so he looked at her earnestly and said, "Thank you, Trubel, truly. That could have been me if it wasn't for my little sister looking out for me."

Trubel managed a small smile, "Well, we Grimms have gotta stick together"

"Are Adalind and Bud sleeping?"

"Uh, yeah I'm pretty sure. Adalind's been getting up a lot though. I think the baby's sitting on her bladder, or something. However that works."

"I'll probably see them in the morning then." Trubel nodded and yawned simultaneously. "You should get some rest."

"I will. Bud said I can stay in one of his kid's rooms for the night. You going back home?"

"I guess." He didn't want to in the slightest, but he didn't really have much other choice.

"Um Nick… I'm probably going to head out of town again tomorrow morning, I don't know if I'll get a chance to see you again before I leave."

Nick looked up in alarm. "Why? You don't have to leave Trubel. There's nothing connecting you to it, you'll be fine."

"No, no, it's not that," Trubel assured him, "I just left Josh's in a hurry when Rosalee called, and so much has gone down already, but I still have some other things to sort out. I promise I'll be back sooner this time."

Nick nodded. That made sense. He also realized that Trubel would have a lot to deal with emotionally after what happened, and maybe it was best that she had the time and space to do that. "Do what you need to do. But don't be a stranger. You're always welcome here, you know? Even after… this."

"Yeah, I know. And I'll see you soon." Trubel began to make her way up the stairs, "You should sleep too Nick, you really look like you need it."

Nick couldn't help but chuckle slightly as he watched the dark haired girl disappear behind one of the upstairs doors.

He considered leaving to go back home at that moment, but he still couldn't do it, didn't think that he could stomach it, so he decided to quietly make his way up the stairs to check on Adalind again, unconsciously mimicking his own actions from earlier that night, right before all of the Juliette mess.

Adalind was actually asleep when he entered this time, and he couldn't help but take in how peaceful she looked, laying on her side, blonde waves fanned out around her face, covers askance over her body, showing glimpses of her pregnant belly.

It was hard to reconcile this image with his memories of her, and with the feelings of anger and hatred for the woman who had constantly done wrong to him and everybody close to him.

She looked strangely innocent like this. Harmless.

And he supposed that's what she was now. Well… not harmless. He didn't think that Adalind could ever be considered harmless. Even without her powers, she still had her intelligence, her cunning and her wit. But she was human now. She had willingly given up the powers she had worked so hard to gain back.

Nick didn't know how to reconcile that with his memories of her either.

He perched himself carefully on the edge of her bed, gently brushing the hair out of her face with one hand and placing the other cautiously on her stomach.

This soothed him for some reason. Feeling his son's movement, and watching Adalind sleep calmed him down, no matter how creepy it made him feel. He inwardly hoped that she wouldn't wake up. It would be intensely awkward, and he didn't think he would have the courage to admit to a conscious Adalind that he needed to be near his son right now.

He didn't know how long he spent just sitting there in silence mentally counting his son's little heartbeats before his eyes began to droop. He carefully stretched his body out so that he was lying down over the covers next to Adalind, one had still protectively touching her bump.

He fell asleep almost instantly.


End file.
